Pants 0. Shit 1.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
50% drunk capacity currently
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
