Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
