Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
