If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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