I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize