You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize