i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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