This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize