i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
