I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
