he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize