hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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