Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize