Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
