I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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