U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
