Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
