If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
