I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize