my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
