She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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