oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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