my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
