she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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