I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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