Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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