Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
