I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
