dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
