Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
