I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
