I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
