Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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