omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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