So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am naked and annoyed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
