Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
