oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
