legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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