Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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