Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
