i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
