Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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