just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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