Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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