I'm jealous of your bromance
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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