If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
