I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Are we still banned from the library?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
