I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
