and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
