i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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