I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
smell my finger.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
