Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
