Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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