forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
home. puking in laundry basket.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
