i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
