I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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