Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At least life still wants to fuck me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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